Part 2: God is in Struggle

Part 2: God is in Struggle

“Seek the LORD and his strength, Seek his face continually.”
‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭KJV

March 8, 2022

The next day of training, Trainer #2 seemed to make friendly conversation. (On the contrary, I have one focus and that’s to do my job and go home. I’m never looking to make friends unless God genuinely connects me.) But I digress, I’m not as cold especially if people are in need of someone to talk to. So, I gave into casual conversation to build rapport with my trainer to get to know her better.

Well… here goes pet peeve #3: every time that I try to respond to her open-ended convo she’d automatically cut me off in the middle of me getting my thought out. This happened so much through out the day that I just decided to shut up and only ask questions related to the training.

But even that was difficult! Ugh! Note that I only had 1 day of simulation training (another job that is in this field I had 3 months of training in). The training was also completely different from my past job experience. Oh and by the way Trainer #2 exclaimed that she only had 1 month of this type of training to get it all right. So why was this lady being snappy at me and getting fresh with me every time I asked a question just to be sure I was doing it right?

Oooohhhh Jesus! Where was the grace at?? I was over it… but I prayed. The next day, I went in humbled as possible. Trainer #2 had promised me coffee, I wasn’t upset, but I didn’t see it with her. I also noticed that as she seen that I had so many compliments on my attire during my weeks of training, she also decided to dress up. Was God’s Spirit in me that day? Child who knows! Gahhhhh!

I had grown to know more about Trainer #2’s personal life since she’d love to share even the most darkest of dark things with me, sadly a few of them I could relate to from my my past self from before I had gotten saved. I did my best to tell her what I’ve learned and showed her how I approach situations. But the mayhem continued: the constant cutting me off and now she wouldn’t even answer my questions about the training out of the blue.

I’m a very perceptive person and I’m watching all of this go on, also growing frustrated. Like was I not praying correctly? Was I not doing what God asked me to do, pray for others and pray for my character? (I was beating myself up mentally on this day.) It took these next two strikes that said “this the last straw!”

Trainer #2 was aware that I spoke struggling Spanish (I’m half black and half Trinidadian but my effort is there to take part in other cultures.). Trainer #2 speaks amazing Spanish, however, when a Hispanic client came up they’d speak directly to her and not me. Trainer #2 straight up ignored my “Hey, can you translate for me” and the client’s question. When we finally had downtime to explain how she handled the situation and how I’d like support especially because this a job you can’t make any mistakes at, she apologized and said she would do better.

Well, home girl would jump into the English conversations that she seen I had great interactions with completely cutting me off. Then it bothered me that she’d make fun of every black client we’d interact with. I was uncomfortable and frustrated. God had to been there because as were taking a look at a clients account she laughs at the password: Agape Love. At the moment, I knew God was speaking to me to show this difficult trainer “Agape Love”, since this was the message He kept getting on my tail about since December.

At one point, one interaction the trainer wrote down some very sensitive information from the clients account and threw it in a bin. A few clients later, I did the same thing but instead of throwing it in the bin, I gave the paper to the trainer (because again, this training was completely different from my past experience. In my past training we’d give it to the client because these days, especially living in fraud capital Miami, everyone is in fear of having their information being stolen, which is understandable.)

The trainer looks at me with a look as if I’m attempting to steal the the clients information, slides it to the client and sarcastically says, “ I think you’re going to need this.” I let it slide because I knew my intentions and regardless the consequences would be a federal offense.

I attempted and pressed my way through to show my trainer “Agape Love”. -Sigh- Well, our next interaction was with a new client and there are certain procedures we have to follow. Being the fact this was my first client scenario for the weeks of training, I obviously had questions. I was literally doing everything the trainer asked to the refined state that she was seeking.

Well, -laughs in cringing pain-, I get on the phone to do the verification process for the new client, literally calling every direct number as instructed, to either get told “wrong number” or the other line to go straight to voicemail. I explained what happened as the trainer was watching (though she was standing next to me on the phone calls the whole time.) Pet peeve #4: I dislike being treated as if I’m not doing the right thing, or as someone stupid, especially if I’m following the exact instructions one has given me.

“I don’t know what you’re doing so we’ll just go to the client and explain the next steps to him.” Yea, I’m heated now. Not even a, “Here’s what you did good on.. but you have room to grow in opportunity in this.” I have past manager experience from countless of jobs and it was mind blowing that she didn’t even correct me in the formality of HR standards but responded in that sense. I humbled myself and walked back to explain the best way possible in my broken Spanish of the situation at hand.

He then called the person to give us a call. I answered the call and it went smoothly, again because I did exactly what the trainer asked me to do. I’m legit not trying to control the situation and letting things flow and woosah cause I’m just getting tried at this point. We make it to the next step which is to write down very specific information from the documents provided on the document we were processing.

-Cringing laugh- as I am writing the second part of the information down, I hear, “Did I tell you to do that?”, in a very angry tone. I said, “Yes, you told me specifically to do it, I even wrote it down on the sticky notes so I don’t forget, see?”. She exclaimed, “Well that’s not how you’re supposed to do it.” I was in silence with blood boiling, completing the rest of the interaction and telling the customer in the most sweetest way “Adiós”.

What do you think I should’ve done differently as a child of Christ? Look out for next week’s “Thoughts of Peace” to find out the end result.

-Paris Battle